Man backed for “brutally honest” response to wife’s cheating question

The internet has rallied behind a Reddit user for his candid response during a game of “Never Have I Ever” that led to unexpected tension in his marriage.

Redditor u/Crayonlicker27 shared his experience in a post on the popular subreddit AITAH [Am I The A*****], where it garnered more than 11,000 upvotes. The game took a serious turn when the question “Never have I ever forgiven a partner for cheating” came up.

“A few people counted that as something they did, including my wife,” he wrote. “I expressed my surprise about it, since I wouldn’t expect her of all people to give someone a chance after cheating.”

According to the Redditor, the night continued as normal, but while driving home, he decided to ask his wife about her response. She revealed that years ago, she had forgiven an ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her. Despite giving him a second chance, he repeated the betrayal in the same manner.

She admitted she did not regret trying again and said that she would extend the same forgiveness to her husband if he ever cheated. Taken aback, the Redditor remained silent, assuming she was speaking under the influence of alcohol. However, when she pressed him for his thoughts, he responded bluntly that he would not be able to forgive cheating and would never expect to be forgiven if he were unfaithful.

“Short of physical abuse or other heinous acts, it’s the worst thing you can do to someone you love,” he explained.

Following the conversation, his wife became unusually quiet for the rest of the car ride and has remained withdrawn ever since. She avoids discussions about that night and has been uncharacteristically distant.

Concerned, the Redditor asked their mutual friends for insight. Some suggested she may have taken his response too personally, interpreting his unwillingness to forgive hypothetical cheating as a sign that he does not love her as deeply as she loves him. Two of her oldest friends also implied that he could have been more tactful in his response.

Expert Insight

Licensed family therapist Brooke Sprowl, CEO & founder of My LA Therapy, weighed in on the situation with Newsweek, emphasizing the importance of open communication and clear boundaries in relationships.

“As a licensed family therapist with 15 years of experience, I’ve seen the importance of open communication and setting clear boundaries are in relationships,” she said. “In this situation, the husband was honest about his feelings on infidelity and his personal boundaries, this is absolutely the right thing to do and he is most certainly not the a*****.

“His wife’s subsequent withdrawal is very concerning and I would characterize it as childish and manipulative. This behavior, known as stonewalling, involves shutting down and avoiding communication. I think of it as a control tactic and it’s one of the ‘Four Horsemen’ that Dr. John Gottman identifies as predictors of relationship breakdowns.

“To move forward, it’s important for both partners can feel safe being open about their feelings and expectations regarding fidelity. The husband has clearly communicated his boundaries, which is healthy. Now, the wife needs to express her thoughts and emotions openly. Avoiding the issue can lead to further misunderstandings and resentment.

“In relationships, it’s natural to have differing views, but what is most vital is how couples navigate these differences. By fostering open dialogue and respecting each other’s boundaries, they can strengthen their connection and prevent potential conflicts from escalating.”

Reddit Reacts

Reddit users overwhelmingly supported the husband’s stance, arguing that boundaries are essential in relationships.

“NTA,” said one user. “She’s conflating your personal boundaries with your love for her. But personal boundaries and dealbreakers are about self-love, not love of another. Not everyone has the same boundaries and that is always more about the person themselves than other people.”

Another pointed out, “Not only that, but her forgiving her other partner and then him doing it again should have taught her that once they cheat, they likely will again if they get by with it. Either way, most people could never trust them again.”

A third Redditor shared a personal revelation: “This is something that took me years to realize and a lot of heartache… I used to believe that in order to prove my love to someone, I had to stick with them no matter what they did to me… I had really low self-esteem…”

As the discussion continues online, the situation highlights the complexities of trust, forgiveness and personal boundaries in relationships. Whether the couple can resolve this tension remains to be seen, but one thing is clear—honesty, even when uncomfortable, is crucial in any partnership.

Newsweek reached out to u/Crayonlicker27 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

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